lifespan

I will write it later.

Let there be light and there was light. Budha said appo deepo bhav. Shivo-aham, Shivo-aham. For years this things are surrounding me like a satellite on elliptical orbit. We are knowing that this is the truth that "there is a satellite on orbit". But, when the ground reality is taken into the considerations the satellite becomes a very remote reality.

On this planet earth we are living in dust, pebbles, water, mud and all of things. Cleanliness is an alien entity. Naturally we are not clean & clear. We got to understand our system. That this country has very ups and downs simultaneously. In one field we have reached in top. And some fields we are near the bottom.

We have to understand that .....

20 m

I have seen people talking and talking. When jist is taken there is nothing special about it.

Being minority

This is minority report. I have no political connections or views. I am not centre, left or right. I don't have any political beliefs. I cast vote. I participate in all community works. But i don't participate in any religious processions.

I feel let down. Imagine the time when i find a girl / woman who is suitable to me and i am with un-suitable woman. I want to get married and get divorce. What is my options. ? As a hindu i have a very meagre chance to have a faithful / safe / satisfying physical relationships legally. But being a good fearing person i want it legally. Inquiries were made with my lawyer friends.- Explain legal positions. Answer to me was very negative one. Illegally you can do anything. Oh, we have double standard.

For a Hindu Educated Man has to wait atleast 28-30 years, woman has to wait for 25-35 years to get married. We pass our biological productive period. I look down to the life of my muslim friends. They almost all got married before 22-24 and girls around me were married even at 15-17 age. Same is the case with my cousins who are living in the remote villages of india, uneducated, not employed with govt-self employed, almost all were married before the age of 25. City dwellers were like me.

There is nothing special about physical relationships or nothing hidden. But healthy marriage is the building block of society. If we want to grow a balanced progressive society we have let people marry at the age of 21.

Problem is with divorce process and mentality of legal system. We all knows that, now a days from a family to family situations are so much changed that a common stereotype can not be put on them.

Now we are not tolerating a woman bunking the line at ticket windows of railways. All males shout loudly that oh woman you also stand with all wo/man in line.

We have to rethink our mindset otherwise i see a situation were hindus like me will be s minority one fine day.

My all best friends are not from cast hindus. I was once living in the western part of India. One fine day due to some circumstance i have to leave my city and my house . My shares of house became vacant. We had to sell it to a minority. One by one they encroached almost all buildings. We are a marshal family , still we had to sell. We have not even got the material cost of building. I am not talking about the land-cost. I felt like an invasion and deeply hurt. Now where i live they also sold one portion to. I now have to tolerate the nuisance of meat-eating.

A group consisting 35 % of population can not claim to be minority anymore. We have to redefine ourselves. It is right time. What is democracy ! peoples elected by peoples - rule the people. If a group is living in a pocket and their representative can win elections and go to parliament and without any bloodshed a single aimed group can change rules if they have sufficient number in house.

Now it needs lot of thinking, remember George Orwell's 1984.

changes in life

Yesterday eveneing i was thinking that i did right to enhace something or help the peoples in their woes ?

I am constantly thinking and re-thinking on this subject. This is a very deep and controversial subject.

Few years ago i was working with a very siddha-lineage person. They are gruhasta sadhu. They have home-temple. My senior boss is running law firm. His reputation is that, he wins almost 90 % cases he undertooks. He really loves me. He is gentle, pious and helping nature. In a healthy talk there was a point "why should we help. That person collapsed due to his karma. What is his karma ? Do you know it." His look was a sympathetic one, that i will know the fact of life one day.

At that time i did not like the karma principle. Even today i don't like he karma-principle still there is one thing now i am strongly beliving is that peoples are not that much good & clean. In fact people were never good. People don't return or keep the goodness going on. This is the main cause of a good person becoming non-interfering one. He or she isolates from the society.

There is famous story of Akabar-Birbal. To prove his point birbal requested akabar to order people to put only one glass of water into the empty royal pond in the night. In the blackness of night people came with a filled glass. In the morning akabar show the pond. There was no milk in it. All people had thought that others are putting milk so it will make no difference wether i put milk or not.

This is the same mentality of people that don't let community work going on. I am not atlas. Atlas takes the load itself.

Girl as friend

I have a girl as my friend since 10 years. 16 years ago, one fine day i saw lot of beautiful woman surrounding me. I was in the lagna-mandap. We have fotographs of this event. Later on fotograph a thin, blue tanjowaram sadi a black woman with glim face was sitting lonely. I did not know her. I did not ask for her reference.

After 5 years suddenly my wife announced that i have sister-in-law. She is going to visit me. I did not quite remember her. This was the first meeting. My wife said sit with her. I was little reluctant. But, i talked with her and there was something in her eyes that attracted. I asked her how many childrens you have ? She laughingly told me ye sab to mere hi hai.

That was starting point of our friendship. We talked, exchanged and there was lot of fightings also. But, our relationships remained a very healthy one. One day we were sitting. She was complaining no body is marrying her. So i jokingly said "you marry me". Suddenly there was laughters. We remember this thing for long time.

Now a days she has become officer in police. We meet as a gentle-man. Now she knows a lot of manners due to her training at police school. She even speaks english.

We talk after a gap of 1-2 years. She once remarked you are living in the place of OSHO. She has become osho's sanyasini. Her new name is ....... . I know she is good. She was advised to do dhyan of osho.

A virtue

Today half an hour ago i said someone that "she is very virtuous woman." Yes, yes, my friend replied indeed "she is very happy person today". I know how honest, pious she is. One time she was offering one night stand to each and everybody who came within her reach. As usually she offerred me also, but i rejected. I had my own reasons. That day onwards she was conspiring on me silently.

She was married at age of 17 years to an old man as second wife. He was twice her age. It is a rumour that old man's first wife was killed (by him in her pregnancy). But, officially there is no such record. At the age of 17 years she had affairs. That was about 1979-80. From the culture she came it was very forward move to have affairs with lot of peoples. She is beautiful.

Her dauthters are also beautiful. By chance due to family relationships i had to tolerate her in my life. If given a chance i would have thrown her out from my life. I have observed that all the good works in her life has been made by me. I got her son married to the girl he liked. I got another girl passed out the college exams. I even had helped the husband of his daughter in passing out the exams in college. I was invigilator. I have made recommendations for them.

Due to me another girl got healing from a place which was very costly. Now, second dauther is also living with her sister's home. Offering one night stands.

I am seeing that they are behaving according to kaliyug. They are as rotten as a cinema idol.

Their integrety is very doubt ful according to me. But i see myself as a responsible. I feel guilty. I should not have helped them ? I should not have hoped that they will transform and change the ways.They are rotten shit and they will remain so. Atleast i should have stayed away from them. I regret helping them.

I feel deeply hurt. Reason is when i know them very well , i should not have helped them. Atleast i should have kept myself away from them.